fuck October

October is the month I love the most. It's when I celebrate my birthday, enjoy the fall season, and get excited for Halloween. However, this particular October turned out to be one of the most challenging for me. Let me elaborate.

Week1

My birthday falls on October 8th, and typically, I feel anxious as I have never had a good birthday before. However, this year, I was hopeful for a change. On the eve of my birthday, I had a disagreement with my family because they fail to comprehend that I am an adult and can manage without them in my life. They have been struggling with my decision to distance myself from them. On my birthday itself, the only ones who wished me were Izzy, Tia, and Jerry. That was all. They FaceTimed me, and it brought tears to my eyes.

(Moreover, a hurricane was forecasted to hit us the day after my birthday, so we were unable to celebrate as we were all busy preparing for it.)

My boyfriend also didn’t say anything. And when I told her he just said sorry. So that made me feel like shit.

Week2

The hurricane struck at approximately 7 pm, causing a power outage. Fortunately, no major issues occurred, but we were left without electricity, just like Izzy. We endured five days without power, during which it was hot. However, the daycare still had power, so we would go there daily to relax and charge our devices. Finally, after five days, our power was restored. I had to discard a lot of food, which was quite stressful, but we managed to get through it.

At the end of the month, having been without power for so long, I had a lot to catch up on in order to get my life back on track, which proved challenging. This situation led me into a state of depression as I struggled to find the energy and motivation to do anything, but eventually, I pushed through.

Although we were fortunate not to have suffered much personal damage, I am aware that many others were not as lucky. I feel hesitant to complain about my own problems, but I still feel the need to discuss them. Overall, October was a difficult month for me, and it didn't feel like my birthday at all.

You guys are amazing thank you for everything and I’ll see you in the next post! 💋